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Thu, December 14, 2006 On being a parent, Part III By Graham Hicks Wages and compensation: You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. Ballooning payments in post-secondary years. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is you enjoy it and wish you could do more. Benefits: No health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays, no stock options. But limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right. CABINET SHRINK Ethical Eddie Stelmach is already at work, shrinking the size of the as-yet unannounced provincial cabinet from 24 positions to 18. Which makes cabinet posts for Edmonton MLAs Gene Zwozdesky and Thomas Lukaszuk even more problematic, given they backed the wrong horse. You can see a bit of Ed's thinking in his mergers: One big money department in the Treasury Board. Post-secondary Education and Technology come together. Immigration is now a high priority, as in "Employment, Immigration and Industry." Aboriginal Affairs is now with International/Intergovernmental relations. As far as Ed's priorities, look at the names he's given the four powerful "cabinet policy committees" - Community Services, Managing Growth Pressures, Resources and the Environment and Government Services. Culture vultures will gripe that "culture" has further shrunk in importance, sharing a portfolio with tourism, parks and recreation. Hey, when a power centre is being shrunk from 24 to 18 people, something gives. JUST GETTING STARTED The first two days of giving out Adopt-A-Teen Christmas gift cards for young, underprivileged teens are now over. It'll happen again on Saturday, and then again next Thursday and Friday. About 500 parents or guardians of those kids made the trip downtown to the Salvation Army. They were all, to a one, so grateful that somebody has thought of their teens at Christmas. If you're on assistance, or working part-time at menial jobs, there's no money left over for gifts. If you'd like to help a teen (or two or three) this Christmas, please call Adopt-A-Teen donation line at 444-5454 from 7:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. A Sun/Examiner classified ad adviser will happily accept a credit card donation. Each Wal-Mart gift card is worth 50 bucks. Cheques can be made to Edmonton Sun Adopt-A-Teen and sent to the Edmonton Sun, #250, 4990 92 Ave., Edmonton T6B 3A1. Adopt-A-Teen cash or cheques can be dropped off during office hours. In the first four days of the campaign, enough money has been raised for 520 teens. By the time the last gift card is given out on Friday, Dec. 22, we anticipate 3,500 to 4,000 Adopt-A-Teen kids will have that Wal-Mart $50 gift card for Christmas. Thanks to Sherry Bibeau and Debbie McIntyre of the Salvation Army and Rebecca Sutherland and Alvina Whitestone of the Christmas Bureau for handling these gift card distribution days. If you know of a teen 16 or under who needs an Adopt-A-Teen Christmas gift, please call our pre-recorded help line for details, at 732-7575. GREAT DONORS Special thanks to the following, who have, since our last listing, contributed to help 10 or more Adopt-A-Teen kids. Sandy and Bob Evans, Ingrid Bean, Kim Chaisson, Ron Bonko, BJW Resources, Christine Masse, Edmonton Catholic Schools support staff, Craig Martin, King Conan Enterprises, Dr. Michael Shewchuk. By way of requests, David and Liz Basham dedicate their donation to mom Betty. Lindsay and Judy Guthrie give in memory of daughter Erin and all teens who left this Earth before their time. JOKE BOOK TOUR The first stop on the Hicks on Six author's tour of 7-Elevens was a great success yesterday, selling some 30 copies of Graham Hicks Second Joke Book at the 7-Eleven at 127 Street and 127 Avenue before 8 a.m. yesterday. Which means the Youth Emergency Shelter, which gets $2 per $10 book sold, gained another $60. The youth shelter can thank 7-Eleven manager/ super saleslady Mahbuba Sultani, who treats all her customers as family. This morning from 7 to 8:15, I'll be at the Heritage Hills Crossing 7-Eleven in Sherwood Park for book signings (corner of Clover Bar Road and Baseline). Friday, I'm again in Sherwood Park at the 7-Eleven at 3049 Clover Bar Road. Graham Hicks 2nd Joke Book is a collection of jokes published in this column over the years. It's available through Christmas at all Greater Edmonton 7-Elevens and other stores. You can also order via www.hicksonsix. com or by calling (780) 468-0290. BOOKS, MUSIC, DRAMA Good books for Christmas: Molly Warring's second of her three-part Ukrainian-Albertan historical family fiction trilogy, Lost Paradise; Herb Belcourt's autobiography Walking In The Woods: A Metis Journey; just released, a great big fat "people's history of the University of Alberta," geared to U of A alumni, called I Was There, A Century of Alumni Stories. Ted Byfield's Christian History Project series has been resurrected. The non-profit SEARCH (Society to Explore and Record Christian History) is ready to produce the last six volumes of the series on Christianity. E-mail Ted for more info, tedbyfield@thechristians.ca. Music-wise, I'm not a huge country fan, but I keep going back to Brett Kissel's Tried and True, A Canadian Tribute CD, from St. Paul's 16-year-old country music wonderkid. Just love his version of Fox On The Run. Bryan Fustukian has a Christmas standards CD out, called Fustukian Christmas. Having caught the St. Albert Children's Theatre production of Narnia a few weeks ago, once again the question has to be asked. Why is it St. Albert can produce such high-quality, big cast, all-kids' musicals ... and nobody is doing the same in Edmonton? Their next show is Aladdin, with auditions in mid-January. Wed, December 13, 2006 On being a parent, Part II By GRAHAM HICKS Job responsibilities: Life- long. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily. Willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Needs ability to bolt in case backyard scream is for real. Will face technical challenges – gadget repair, sluggish toilets, stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, MSN, maintain calendars, co-ordinate homework projects, plus organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be indispensable one minute, seen as a total embarrassment the next. Must hope for the best, be prepared for the worst. Will be completely accountable for the quality of the end product. Advancement and promotion: None. Job will be unchanging. No opportunity for retraining. Skill updating must be done on the fly. And, ultimately, those in your charge will surpass you.
Ethical Ed Stelmach is playing his cards very close to his vest when it comes to his cabinet appointments. The about-to-be premier has chatted with MLAs, inquiring as to their interests, strengths and weaknesses, but has made absolutely no commitment to anyone so far. If those among his closest campaign colleagues – Iris Evans, Luke Ouelette and Ray Danyluk – have a cabinet job in the bag, they’re not saying. Stelmach is sworn in tomorrow, announces his cabinet Friday.
Yesterday was Day 1 for parents or guardians to pick up our Adopt-A-Teen $50 Wal-Mart gift cards. By 10 a.m., the line snaked out of the downtown Salvation Army. Hundreds patiently waited. In this era of prosperity, here are some stories of those, with young teens, who have been left behind.
Gloria has four children. Three are grown up and out of the house, but Jim, 15, is still with her. Gloria lives on $629 a month. One-third goes to rent for her low-income housing, the rest on utilities, food and bus passes. “I’m so thankful for Adopt-A-Teen. Because there’s nothing left for Christmas, it means I at least have something for Jim.” “Years ago, I gave in and bought gifts for my children. “It backfired. We were almost evicted for not paying the rent. The kids were so scared … they kept saying, ‘Mommy, why did you buy us presents with that money?’ ”
Patricia used to be an administrator. But raising four kids on her own and working full time wrecked her health. After strokes and heart attacks, she can’t work. Her youngest, 15-year-old Bill, is with her. “I live on about $1,300 a month. I can pay the bills, but that’s about it. “Christmas is difficult. Adopt-A-Teen is so heartwarming. I give Bill the gift card before Christmas. He uses most of it to buy presents for his brothers and sisters and friends. “Bless everyone who contributes, for their kindness to families like mine.”
There are thousands more teens like Jim and Bill. Five thousand, in fact. On the Christmas Bureau/Salvation Army family client lists are 5,029 kids between 13 and 16 who live in what you and I would consider urban poverty. If you’d like to buy a gift for one or two or three of these kids, please call Adopt-A-Teen, 444-5454 from 7:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. today. Every year, our Sun/Examiner classified ad advisers volunteer to take Adopt-A-Teen credit card donations over the phone. (For more Adopt-A-Teen information, call 468-0332.) Parents of at least 4,000 of those 5,029 underprivileged teens will trek to a “pickup day” before the program ends Dec. 22. Once registered with the Christmas Bureau, parents can pick up Adopt-A-Teen gift cards today at the Salvation Army, 9260 101A Ave. downtown, from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., then 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. If you need info about getting a gift card for a young teen, and pickup dates, call Adopt-A-Teen’s “help needed” hot line, 732-7575. Adopt-A-Teen has a goal of raising $200,000 (4,000 kids times $50 a gift card.) Ten days to go! Thank you for your help.
The Hicks on Six author’s tour of 7-Elevens starts today. I’ll be at the 7-Eleven at 127 Street and 127 Avenue from 7 a.m. to 8:15 a.m., selling and autographing copies of Graham Hicks’ 2nd Joke Book: Barrel of Laughs. They’re $10 each, on sale at all area 7-Eleven convenience stores, with $2 going to the Youth Emergency Shelter. Great gift! Tomorrow morning, I’ll be at the Sherwood Park 7-Eleven at the corner of Baseline and Clover Bar roads.
’Tis one of the social events of the year. And certainly the Stollery Children’s Hospital Foundation’s annual Snowflake Gala, Monday evening in the Shaw Conference Centre, is the year’s most prominent “family gala.” The kids, even the littlest ones, put on their finest clothes, then rush off to play in the Bioware video Kid Zone. Teens wear their finery, running around in packs before and after dinner. Poppas carve the turkeys, one at each table. By the evening’s end, over $770,000 was raised for the children’s hospital, with such live auction items as a trip to Chicago for the Oprah show fetching $40,000. I couldn’t help but think about the Adopt-A-Teen kids who’ll never see such an evening. These are very lucky kids, by accident of birth. The Adopt-A-Teen kids ... not so lucky.
Could super salesman Terry Tietzen push his multifaceted customer loyalty allRewards.com program into the stratosphere? AllRewards – with discounts, charity angles and prizing – has been around Edmonton for years. Now Tietzen has formed a partnership with one of America’s biggest banks, The Chase, and is launching allRewards (using unique Edmonton-based computer programs) in the U.S.A., starting in Phoenix, Arizona. Terry’s a big-picture schemer and dreamer. Charity always figures prominently in his vision. Maybe he’s really on to something. Maybe Tietzen becomes the next Bruce Saville (who built from scratch, then sold, a huge IT company). Who knows? Tue, December 12, 2006 On being a parent, Part I By Graham Hicks Job description: Long-term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills, be willing to work evenings, weekends and 24-hour shifts. Much overnight travel required, including camping trips on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments far away. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier/taxi duties also required. YOU WANT IT, PAY FOR IT It's about the money, eh? "The city's snow budget has always been chronically underfunded," says a straight-shooting official who knows his way around the city budget. Doesn't matter that two or three heavy snowfalls in the calendar year, i.e. Jan. 1 to Dec. 31, 2006, will always bust the pre-set budget. No manager or council has had the intestinal fortitude to call a snow shovel a snow shovel and stop pretending that snow removal costs less than it really does, says Deep Snowfall. "City managers hope and pray they'll have an 'average' year for snow removal, with no surprises. "There's no budget built in for snow plowing of residential streets. That'd be another $15 million. "And every year, there's a hue and cry over tax hikes. The cops and firefighters always want more, and in the grand scheme, is snow removal all that big a deal? We've limped along with no residential snow removal budget for 100 years! "The mayor and council know the snow budget is underfunded. But who'll make the first move? "Why ramp up? Tough out those angry calls. If we can get to April, the thinking goes, it's all melt." There are cities with better snow removal. St. Albert and Sherwood Park come to mind. But St. Albert and Sherwood Park residents PAY for better snow removal. As has often been noted on Page Six, property taxes in the satellite cities are a third higher than here. Consequently, they get better services. Surprise, surprise. As for the city not getting the graders ... It's all about money. Pay enough, plan ahead. The city would get the graders. THIS 'N' THAT * Congrats to Fearless Fred Kennedy at The Bear. The DJ, an up-and-comer in the city, has been promoted from evenings to afternoon drive. * Excellent show on History TV last week, on the Second World War "ship of ice" idea - using icebergs as military airports in the Atlantic. It nearly happened, but technology rendered the idea obsolete. Patricia Lake at Jasper was picked as the test site for a prototype. "When I was a boy," says my friend, author John McLay, "you could see an old army truck at the bottom of the lake." * What happened to Maren Ord? The teen sensation is now 24, lives in Edmonton, is married and with child! Maren has just released a new CD, Pretty Things, on Fontana/Universal Records. ADOPT-A-TEEN Adopt-A-Teen is up and running. If you'd like to help a teen, or two, or three, at Christmas, please call 444-5454 between 7:30 a.m. and 6 p.m. to make a credit card donation. Or cheques can be made out to Edmonton Sun Adopt-A-Teen and sent to Adopt-A-Teen, Edmonton Sun, #250, 4990 92 Ave. Edmonton, Alberta, T6B 3A1. Fifty bucks takes care of one teen, but we're grateful for any amount. Two recorded-information lines are available. If you'd like information on how to help, call 468-0332. If you need help for a young teen, please call 732-7575. We applaud the efforts of our generous, and often long-time donors. Liz and Maurveen Dugan of Onoway are the first to give. They're older now, one in college, the other in Grade 12. Finding time to come to the Sun is tough. But they sent their donation, to take care of two needy teens, by postal money order. Syl Amos is a legend around the city's assessment branch for his dedication to Adopt-A-Teen fundraising. For the ninth year, he's after friends and colleagues to support a young teen at Christmas. Last year, he raised over $3,000. Go get 'em Syl. We love ya. Meridian Marketing and Health Sales sent along a gift for 20 teens from employees and management. "It must be so difficult," writes Meridian's Dean Garrett, "for young teens to see toys delivered for younger siblings, and nothing under the tree for them." Andy Kwok of the Salvation Army is president of the Downtown Kiwanis Club. He made a club presentation. Five Kiwanians donated, bless 'em. From the Edmonton Catholic Schools Support Staff Association comes a $700 cheque. Thank you, on the teens' behalf. TEEN GIFT If you need a Christmas gift for a teen or teens, 13-16, here's what to do. As long as your family is registered with the Christmas Bureau, you need only pick up your child's Adopt-A-Teen gift card. Bring your teen's healthcare card with you. Today and tomorrow, Adopt-A-Teen Wal-Mart gift cards can be picked up at the Salvation Army, 9260 101A Ave., 10 a.m.-7 p.m. (closed 1 p.m.-2 p.m.). There are pickup days Saturday in Beverly and Mill Woods, plus Thursday and Friday, Dec. 21 and 22 at the Christmas Bureau's Walk-Up Days at Amiswaciy Academy. If your family is not registered, call the Christmas Bureau at 414-7695 (office hours). We want your teens to have a Merry Christmas. JOKE BOOKING AROUND The Youth Emergency Shelter is our other charity of choice at Christmas. We're delighted to help the shelter's campaign with a donation of $2 from every Graham Hicks 2nd Joke Book: Barrel of Laughs book sold this Christmas. The joke book, still only $9.99, is a compilation of jokes published in this column. It's a good gift for all ages and all tastes, on sale at the counters of all Greater Edmonton 7-Eleven convenience stores this Christmas season. You can also pick up Graham Hicks 1st Joke Book at the Edmonton Sun and selected stores - Audrey's, Greenwood's and Volume II book stores, D&D Jewellers on 118 Avenue in Beverly and River City Cigar in Clareview. If you want an autographed joke book, I'll be at 7-Eleven stores from 7 a.m. to 8:15 a.m. from tomorrow (at the 7-Eleven at 127 Street and 127 Avenue) through Dec. 22. Thursday's 7-Eleven is in Sherwood Park at the corner of Clover Bar Road and Baseline Road, Friday again in Sherwood Park, north of Baseline at 3049 Clover Bar Road. Free coffee and prizes if you buy at that time. |
